An Open Letter to my family.
Tomorrow isn’t promised
Have you ever thought about the “what if’s” in life? What if I got hit by a bus? I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but so much can change in a second. Would my family know what I wanted to say? My best friend and I had always meant to make a video after hearing about a woman in Texas that did after learning that she had cancer. She wanted to make videos for every moment of her child’s life that she was going to miss. It was parental genius and done with such love. I didn’t want to do it, though. I wasn’t terminal. I had the rest of my life ahead of me to watch my children grow with love and advice along the way. First dances, first break-ups, graduations, and weddings. What if that tomorrow doesn’t come? I don’t mean to take such a dark turn…but I could be in a car accident and never speak to my family again. I decided to pen a note that couldn’t be lost or tossed away. One that could be found by my children anytime, anywhere…so that they would know how much I love them and what I want for them.
Daughters: Live and love. Be silly. Be strong. You have to find a balance. I want you to go to school and be whatever you want to be. Always be on time. Never lie. You are going to love. You are going to hurt. When you find the one that makes you smile when you are not with him and your stomach flutters at the very thought of seeing him, he is the one. You will fight. Then makeup. If he is truly the one, you will fight for him. Always remember to say you are sorry if you are. Never walk away. You can fight and argue, but never leave for anything other than a moment to clear your head. Leaving is not the answer. If you really thought he was the one, don’t lose sight of that and don’t let anything come between you. Except if a man strikes you, then get away and don’t look back. It will only get worse. Don’t become a statistic. Should something happen, that took me away, know that I will walk with you always. I will love you always and be there for you. You have but to speak to me with your heart, and I will hear you. I have dreamed of your wedding days since you two were born. To attach your veils, and kiss your cheek as you marry the man you love above all else. Should I not be there to mark that moment, please know that I will be watching. You may not feel it, but I will smooth your veil. My spirit will be all around you and be so proud. I will always be proud.
Son: Get dirty. Wash up. Listen to your father. Protect your sisters. Open doors. Refine your curve ball. Throw a long pass. Never, ever lay your hand on a woman. Speak with kindness. Love fiercely. Treat the woman you choose to love with respect, never speak or do anything to them that you would not want done to your sisters. If you have to fight, never throw the first punch. Stand up for what is right. Have integrity. When you find the one that you can not live without, make the proposal the most magical, wonderful, romantic moment of her life. She will remember it for life and retell it with love. Get a good education and be successful. You can do anything you want if you set your mind to it. If I am not there on the day you watch your bride walk down the aisle, remember that I will be watching with love from somewhere close by, wishing I could smooth that unruly hair down at your crown. You will be so handsome, and I love you so much.
Husband: I know this is not something you want to hear, but with tomorrow never promised, I wanted something to give to you and our children as a short memoir for them to remember how much I loved them and how much I loved you should God call me home. Hopefully, no tragedy shall find our family, but I want you to know things that are important that only a mother can know. The little things in life are what is biggest to their hearts. Make time for legos. Listen to silly stories. The stories seem so trivial, but if they are telling it, then listen. They take a pillow to a sleepover. Check their heads for lice. Always buy a new backpack and lunchbox before school starts. It doesn’t matter. Just do it. Make sure you ask about schoolwork. Ask how their day was. Tell them you love them every day. Don’t let them forget me. That I was here. That I loved them. That I want them to have all the joy in the world. Remind them on their wedding day. Talk with them about me on the day that their children are born. I was here. They will know it. They will feel it. Tell their children about me. Tell them funny stories. Tell them about the time you were air drumming in the car and how funny that was. Show them where I was secretly recording that. Tell them I loved the simple things they asked me. “Mommy, want to watch a movie with me?” “Mom, what shirt goes with these shorts?” “Mom, can we go grab some new mascara?” This was our life. This is who we were. With me. Without me will be so different, but find happiness. Know that I will always be with them, watching them. I have read so many stories where people waited until the end to tell someone how much they meant or how they felt. That is a luxury that not everyone is given; I just wanted to put it out there for the world to see. I have told you everything that you need to know, how much you mean to me, and I tried to show you every day.
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